This year has been dubbed The Year Of Women. It all sounds inspiring and glamorous, but what can it mean for you or me, for an individual woman? At DrivenWoman we are, of course, deeply committed to the women’s empowerment movement, but as always, we want to make things happen on a very practical level.
I believe the feminine rising has been brewing up for some time and global consciousness got a real boost with the #metoo movement last autumn. I remember the first Facebook post that appeared in my feed that morning. I was hesitant. Me! Yes, even I was hesitant to take part. I experienced that deeply rooted worry of being labeled and fear of being punished for sticking my head out. The fear of speaking my truth!
I remember how I prepared my post with the hastag #metoo, only to delete it couple of seconds later. I didn’t post it. I closed my Facebook and just sat there, slightly shocked. Why was this so difficult? Me of all people should be jumping on this bandwagon! DrivenWoman is all about sharing our experiences so that we can learn from each other and becoming vulnerable. I believe when one woman shares a difficult story it gives a woman next to her a permission to give up perfection and worry.
So I swallowed my pride. I told my ego to shut up. I was experiencing a perfection trap at first hand! As it was clearly my ego that still needed stroking, needed that seal of approval that I was ok, if not perfect but close to it.
Yes, I too have suffered sexual assault. And finally I was able to share it. Being part of the global movement of women who said, this happened to me and enough is enough. So I opened my Facebook again and with my heart pounding I published a simple post: #metoo.
And I was freed.
It’s incredible how a simple act of opening up can release pressure and let life flow freely.
I meet hundreds of women in our Lifeworking groups and it pains me how much we women are still holding back. It’s not about sexual abuse. It’s about everything. And it’s nothing to do with if we had trauma or not in our lives. This ‘stuckness’ seems to apply to some degree to every single woman regardless of her background or profession or her level of perceived success. We are still holding back in one or more areas of our lives.
Either we are too scared to publish our blog or website we have been working on as a side project for many months. Or we are too scared and insecure to ask for a promotion or a pay raise. Or we are afraid to start proudly selling the products we have created for our own start-up. Or we rather go for yet another course or training program than put what we have learned into practice.
For me these are all symptoms of the same phenomena.
For centuries, women got belittled or even abused if we expressed our true self, our creativity and our intuitive power. Our mother’s and grandmothers weren’t able to embark on the kind of creative journeys their hearts desired. They were defined by the man they married and the children they produced.
We carry that mother wound of our feminine lineage who cut themselves off their true power. Thanks largely to digital revolution we are the first generation of women who don’t have to compromise. We, at least in theory, can have it all.
It is up to each one of us to either expose these worries, like #metoo, or keep holding onto them. It’s a personal choice where we can either keep staying stuck or we can open up and move on.
The Year Of Women is not something that will be delivered to you on a plate.
It is up to us to make this The Year Of Women, both on an individual and collective level. It’s not something other people will create for you, it is the year when you will create your new direction by showing up.
Every time you choose not to share your struggle with your fellow woman you deny her a possibility to become vulnerable and become real. Only speaking our truth will help us move on and to live a bigger life. We are worthy of the success we dream of!
So dear sisters, my pledge to you is this.
Next time you feel like not stepping up, not showing up to your dreams or not speaking up – stop. Stop and reflect why. Give yourself an extra 5 minutes to really feel those emotions and allow yourself to experience the fullness of your fear and worry. If you can do that I will salute you, as it’s much more tempting to run away from that feeling than face it. But remember that you are not alone. And then make an active and aware decision how you want to proceed.
It will be up to us to make this year into what it could become. And to do this, me must open up and keep supporting each other. It’s ok to feel stuck at times, but it’ snot ok to hold onto it. And it’s ok to want a bigger life!
If you wish to be part of a fast growing movement of women supporting each other to a bigger life, join one of DrivenWoman’s Introduction events in the UK, Scotland, Switzerland, Finland, Ireland, Australia, France, Italy; or apply to open your own Lifeworking group where you are.