“ Mummy why are you going out again?”
“ It’s not fair!”
“Oh, just go…”
Wow. It’s hard to believe that these were the constant questions and answers I would get every time I went out regardless whether it was business or social. My girls really knew how to pull on the guilt stick in a soul destroying way. I questioned my motives on every occasion.
This in itself became very draining for me and I started to reschedule appointments, cancel meetings, ect. until I thought this is madness. There must be another way. What I’m trying to do is to provide a better life for my children and for myself. I cannot keep beating myself up for wanting the best and as a single mother jugging everything. But it was tough.
I decided that I had to find a solution to calm the situation so I began to include the girls into my journey. I did take it for granted that if I said I was off to a Driven woman meeting that should have been enough, Mummy was off to work so they should just except it, but it didn’t work like that.
I sat down with my girls, now 8 years old and 12, and went through what DrivenWoman was about and what we were trying to create and the time and effort it would take to make this vision come true, and the type of networking I had to do as well as juggling my commitments with my Sports Management Company. Also I had to point out, as harsh as it may seem, a few facts that all the lovely things that they were enjoying right now were down to hard work and mummy being able to do that. That part was very important to me as I felt that the girls needed to know that there was no magical dust around that gave you what you wanted when you wanted it and everything we have in life has a cost element to it.
I explained them that mummy would try to be at all after school activities but sometimes I may have to miss the odd one if the timing was impossible, but this would not be often. And I would still love them as much!
Of course I cannot dump too much of life’s pressures on them but general awareness is the key. In order for me to push forward I needed to get the home front right.
For me this has been a great relief as my girls now understand what I am doing, and they feel a part of my quest to achieve as I have open the door to them. I also update them on who I met today and what’s the next event to keep them involved. I still get the odd winch but it’s is ok because they are children.
We are responsible for creating our own lives and the conditions we desire. We have to think, speak and act responsibly in order to make the change. Including your children in your journey is important as it helps to get rid of anger, fear and guilt and also gives them a sense that they are helping too.