What are the attributes that bring ‘doer’ women together? Our tribe of driven women is growing fast in London and beyond. This week we launched our network in Zurich to a room of 50 women, all eager to share their stories and define their own success.
The idea behind DrivenWoman is not based on common interests, background, education or career. People keep asking me what brings people together and creates this extraordinary feeling of unity. So it’s time to share what are the characteristics that bring us together as one of the most energising and empowering women’s networks in Europe right now!
Most of us suffer from a feeling of constant ‘lack’, thinking that who they are, what they do or how they look like is not good enough. Your energy is used to trying to appear more successful, rather than using your energy fixing and changing what needs to be dealt with. At Driven Woman we accept openness and honesty as our starting point because this way we can remove any obstacles that might be holding us back. Sharing our genuine authentic stories is how we can help each other, not by trying to appear successful. Every time you share your experience truthfully you help a woman next to you face her own struggle.
When you define your our own success it becomes deeply personal. It’s important to we stop expecting someone else to keep motivating us. “I have lost my motivation” may mean that what you are doing is not what you should be doing and therefore not important and deeply personal. There’s no point trying to find your motivation, perhaps you shouldn’t settle, perhaps you should keep looking for something that connects on a deeper level and find commitment to the way you want to live your life.
At Driven Woman every dream was created equal. This means our members come from different backgrounds and define their own success in very different ways. You might think what can a 21 year old startup entrepreneur and a published author or stay at home mother give to each other, but it’s those connections which are outside of our social or economical norm that really teach us most about ourselves. When you learn to accept everyone as your equal regardless of their pay check or tittle, you soon realise that you are starting to accept yourself the way you are. Nothing is more empowering than this!
Driven woman doesn’t waste her tribe’s time by saying things she’s not going to keep. We all promise too much sometimes, of course, and many things are out of our control. But ‘talk is cheap’ at DrivenWoman. Actions speak louder than words.
We all face challenges and sometimes hit a brick wall but every wrong turn and mistake is simply a learning opportunity in a disguise. Sharing these struggles is a key to finding solutions. Many women miss their golden opportunities because they are too afraid to ask for help in fear of exposing their imperfections.
Appreciation starts from a belief that everyone has something unique to bring to the table. We must appreciate our own talents and purpose and not shy away from sharing them with the world. Women are currently holding the whole world back because we don’t appreciate enough our own brilliance, and as a consequence that of our fellow women. Learn to flourish and your sisters will flourish with you!
At Driven Woman our aim is to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. All growth happens outside of your comfort zone so it’s important to keep challenging yourself to do things you haven’t done before and try things that might fail. This is sometimes scary and often not easy, and that makes us vulnerable. But in the words of Brene Brown: “You can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability.”
It’s clear that if you give up on the first hurdle you won’t get very far. Some people may be naturally more resilient but this quality is definitely something we can all keep building! Every time you dare to do something new, make mistake and choose to learn from it and move on rather than give up you build it up. And every time you share this experience with your tribe you help your fellow driven woman face a difficult situation.
We sometimes find ourselves in a far from ideal situation. Our expectations might have been too high and we feel we failed if we don’t get the outcome we desire. I for one have learned this lesson sitting in an empty room when nobody showed up to our Introduction evening! By accepting my situation that night I learned that I should always do my best. Just that. Then I can assess and learn what I can improve next time. There’s no power in beating yourself up or blaming others or your circumstances if things don’t go your way.
One of our core beliefs is that you should always do the best you can with the resources you have available today. Many women abandon their dreams simply because their resources (time, money, support, health, energy, confidence…) are not perfect, today. There’s not a single thing in life that you can’t improve. You many not make it perfect but by working on something and accepting change you can always improve your resources and your situation.
Enjoy the yourney
Driven woman doesn’t live to fill up to-do lists. She learns to enjoy every moment of being alive. The key is to learn to laugh at yourself and not take everything so seriously! I certainly wasn’t born with ability to laugh at myself, but it’s the most valuable skill. Vulnerability practise helps and as you lighten up, the world suddenly seems like a much nicer and happier place. Funny that!
I often hear members saying how they apply the values of Driven Woman in their every day lives, saying “I went into the situation and would have normally kept quiet but then I remembered what a driven woman would do and I spoke up.” or “One of the greatest gifts being a driven woman is that I’m now at ease with asking for help. This single mindset change has had a huge impact on my business.” or “I would have not put myself forward as a speaker if it wasn’t for Driven Woman. But I remembered that it’s ok to be vulnerable and make mistakes and that I don’t have to be perfect if I try something new.”
You may also notice that I’ve left out words like ‘Courageous’ or ‘Confident’. I think these are in a way overrated qualities. And the fact that every woman leader tells in an interview when asked what is a key to success that you have to have confidence may do us dis-service! What if you don’t have confidence?
Most of us don’t if we are starting something new.
Are you doomed for life?
I’d rather praise women who are ready to step outside of their comfort zone, their confidence zone! Let’s embrace uncertainty to and follow our hearts, no matter what.
What other attributes do you think should be added? What does it mean to you to be a driven woman, a woman who wants to define her own success and take steps to living a bigger life?
Please comment below, I’d love to hear your views!
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